Black Willows

The longer I seem to spend time with people, the harder it is to feel relaxed by myself. Like right now, sitting alone on my bed--- I feel strange. I don't feel like getting my diary, instead I'm trying not to waist the precious time that I have. It's 2:00 am, my friend just left 10 minutes ago, and I'm striving to find "Myself Time" to collect my thoughts.

I just finished the latest piece for my portfolio, I called it, "through the woods" I'll post here next time. I feel very blessed it turned out really well. You know what? I didn't have a place in the art world until G-d blessed me with the ability to draw flowers like I can now. The ability was so random, that I know it really is a miracle. I may not know as much as I should about the Bible, but I know in my heart that G-d loves me--- can you think of any blessings? :) Just sit down and think about them--- I feel that, just like I am right now, you will find that G-d really is AMAZING.

Winter Daisies

So much has been happening! It's so amazing. Recently, I've finally got the hang of my college courses, so for the moment I feel very content. I've been working hard on my UCLA art portfolio and I'm trying to make friends. However, my younger sister is failing her classes and I honestly don't know what to tell her. Since she is doing poorly in the classes I excelled in, I just wonder --- what can I do to save her from drowning?! I don't want her to fail miserably like I have. I try to help her with her homework, but with one week till the end of their semester, there's so little time to recover the broken pieces! I feel as if I'm suffocating, there's nothing I can do for her! I don't want her to end up in my position. There's just so much I want for her, I pray things will go well if it is His will.

"Like winter daisies, we must try to fight the hopeless storm"

Driver's Test

Tomorrow morning I'm taking my driver's test in Norco, CA. Waking up at 7:00 am and taking an hour drive to get to this city I have never even BEEN to. I don't know how I'm going to pass, if I can't predict the streets. Anyway, I watched the CA DMV videos on youtube, "Driving Tests: 10 Top reasons People Fail the Driving Test". Definitely Try to watch these, they have helped me so much.

The problem still is the matter of my unfamiliarity of the area. Unfortunately, there are no maps on the driving routes for this particular DMV, why does no one think of this?! Maybe I'll try to get it written down afterwards-- I pray I pass, but if I don't, I don't.

Top Four things to remember:

********** 1. (Which didn't even let me take the test!!!) Remember your proof of insurance, car registration, permit, and anything you can think they might ask you for!

2. SMOS: Signal, Mirror, Over Shoulder

3. When making a right turn: Signal, stop in front of the cross walk, check for pedestrians, creep forward to check traffic, then make your turn. (1,2,3)

4. When making a left turn in an unprotected intersection: Signal, check as you yield into the middle of the intersection, let all oncoming traffic pass, check for pedestrians, and then make your turn.

I hope that helps anyone, I'll tell you how it went. Hopefully, things will certainly work out.

Rose enchantment

Sometimes I wonder where God is taking me. The beginning of community college has been such a whirl wind of emotions that I can't seem to grasp where it is I am. The loss of my devotional book has meant that I feel farther and farther away. But you know what? Every time I think I'm going to fall away into oblivion, He shows me that He's there.

I'll pray for you and hope you realize, that He'll be there for you as well.

The Green Grass

Today was my first day of community college. 

My mom made me drive all the way there, which resulted in several minor collisions, but that's okay, the worst part is the yelling. I still feel sad that I'm missing out on the opportunity to be somewhere else right now, but that's okay too. Slowly, but surely you'll see that I'm gonna get there soon.

Plastic Roses

Hey readers (if there are any),

I received my acceptance into the Honors Program from [insert community college] and I have to say that I'm amazed at the amount of opportunities the program offers! 

- field trips

- conventions

- speakers

- UC library passes

- guaranteed admission at some universities  

It's astonishing and I'm so thankful God has given me!

However I remembered that I actually couldn't get into any of the honors classes! I can turn my regular courses into honors by filling out a contract, but I don't understand how to fill it out. 

 I feels like I'm smelling plastic roses; they're pretty and look so real, but they're still not roses. Translating to, there is still so much left to do before I really am a part of the Honors Program. I pray things will go smoothly 

Clay Flowers

This morning my grandmother came over and like the most absurdly wonderful grandmother in the world, brought us to my new community college so she could look around. The first thing she said was,

 "I never saw such a beautiful campus, Erin, I think it'd be wonderful to study here." I could have kissed her. "You know, I went to community college too and so did your father. We both graduated there [. . .] don't worry you'll find classes" 

About that time, I lost one of my clay flowers I glued to my nail that morning 1 of 2.

The next one I lost at my friend's party. 

But finally at 12:01 am exactly I logged onto [insert community college website] and was finally able to register for classes!!!!!

I have classes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REAL-- FOR REAL CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so ecstatic! Nothing can err me now except for the fact I have pilates tomorrow, and after a whole summer of no ballet classes, I'm going to be so sore!