Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hydrangea Charm

Dear Readers,
If you recall, I was very hesitant to leave my life in community college. My JC was the place where I struggled with the consequences of my actions in high school, where I fought with the ongoing question of "what God had in store for me", and where the Lord shaped me and molded me under the pressure of His healing hand. After the flames of the forge, I saw my community college as the safe haven where I could finally rest my burden.

Now at University, I think I am beginning to open my eyes to where I am in God's plan. Like the Hydrangeas (which symbolize perseverance), after being split, pruned, and buried in the rocky soil, the stems of past experiences are beginning to blossom into something beautiful!

The tools I learned in community college are coming in handy now, as I teach my friends! The lessons I learned from my past professors, are becoming the staple of my studies! Most of all, the traumatizing experience of senior year has become a visible mark on my mind---- reminding me of the temptation of idleness, and the reward of perseverance.

So, I am so excited now for my future! The experiences God has put me through are now my weapons of victory! Now, I will go strong into battle, knowing the Lord is on my side--- as should you. : )

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Golden Fields of Wheat

The burden of the summer sun is weighing heavily on the hearts of all of us. Myself especially, I can feel the harvest season slowly ebbing away into the fall. Soon it will be August, then September, then we will be back to school again-- Although I am so happy to be going to University, after the Lord has blessed me with this opportunity, my soul is quietly aching for home again. I could be blinded and still know my way home through the dazzling sprawl of streets, find the homes of my friends, go to my favorite restaurants, and find my special spots. It's so comfortable here-- I am afraid to go to a city where the buildings lay out before me, like a labyrinth. Slowly climbing a mountain-less countryside, the monster (that is strangeness) might overwhelm me, and I will be lost in that maze.
I keep on telling myself, have faith, have faith. Don't worry about tomorrow, just leave it in His hands.
Lives are endless contradictions, "The end is just another beginning". Though I have fear, I can't wait for this new adventure.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Leis made Of Orchids

Today is the graduation day of class of 2010, for my old high school!

I had thought about going to rejoice the end of the year with all my young friends (all covered in huge purple leis), but decided to hang back. Although my boyfriend was going to be there (which is also an advantage), I just felt so much shame in my heart --- I don't want to run into all my teachers and see their faces of disapproval. I would have to explain to Mr. Landers why I didn't go to his alma mater, or to stare in the face of Madame Oyler, who made me feel intellectually obsolete for two years of my life.

I do not want to confront these troubles! It makes me realize now, that I really haven't gotten over my failure 2 years ago. I am going to go to an even BETTER college now, and I got straight A's my first semester of Community College, and relatively good grades for my second semester! I guess this proves the saying that "you just can't let go of the past", but just goes to show that God brought me through that struggle, and He will surely fulfill His promise, and guide me forward again.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sweet Smells of Summer

Hello Readers! It's almost the end of the school year and you realize what that means! Beach trips!!! Sounds of waves crashing methodically onto the shore, mix with the laughs and cries of beach parties. People happily converse with one another, enjoying the company of old friends-- chances for intimate interactions occur, creating the beginning of summer-long romances! I am so thrilled for this summer!

Tomorrow I'm going to experiment with a Thai Dish called "Coconut Sticky Rice with Mango", a dish that literally tastes like summer in your mouth. The first time I ate it, my whole entire world fell into my taste buds- it's simply too good to never try (thus I recommend it for you!). So I thought -with my limited cooking skills- I would try making it for a Beach trip my friends and I are having this week.

Here is the recipe I'm using:
Though this one seems good too:

So I'm going to experiment tomorrow! If you want, try it and let me know how it worked for you, then maybe you can help me haha.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Violets in my Pockets

Finally, I've had time to write! [above is "Walking in the Woods"- made with pen and prisma color pencils]

Sorry it has been a while since I last wrote, my final exams have kept me from my computer.
Honestly, before my exams, I had never tried coffee, but lack of sleep began to add up (over the course of several days) so I decided to "Man Up" and try it. Gone are the days when my dad used bottles of coke and bags of M&M's! I am loyally sticking by my new friend Coffee, and so far we are hitting it off so well that a special shelf in my pantry is reserved for it. SO, after much prayer, and many cups of coffee later here are the results of my classes for this semester!

Math= A-
Environmental Biology= A
Political Science= B-
Communications= A
Macro Economics= A+

Oh dear reader, I cannot accurately express how thankful I am at this moment! My feelings are overflowing! I literally broke down in tears after seeing my grades. This means I can finally go to [insert a more prestigious school than original], after I was accepted this Spring. After all the tribulations, the pain, and the tears, G-d has blessed me with this wonderful gift, and has helped me through the valley.

Faithfulness, like the violet, He has pruned me and planted me in good soil, and now I feel I have blossomed under His hand. It's like I have finally gasped real air, after being under so long --- everything is clearer now, and I see I must have faith that He will open doors for me in good time.

Reader, I pray that you will also keep faith in whatever troubles you, and "Be Still and Know that He is G-d". For truly, He loves you so, and wants you to succeed in His name.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Black Willows

The longer I seem to spend time with people, the harder it is to feel relaxed by myself. Like right now, sitting alone on my bed--- I feel strange. I don't feel like getting my diary, instead I'm trying not to waist the precious time that I have. It's 2:00 am, my friend just left 10 minutes ago, and I'm striving to find "Myself Time" to collect my thoughts.

I just finished the latest piece for my portfolio, I called it, "through the woods" I'll post here next time. I feel very blessed it turned out really well. You know what? I didn't have a place in the art world until G-d blessed me with the ability to draw flowers like I can now. The ability was so random, that I know it really is a miracle. I may not know as much as I should about the Bible, but I know in my heart that G-d loves me--- can you think of any blessings? :) Just sit down and think about them--- I feel that, just like I am right now, you will find that G-d really is AMAZING.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Winter Daisies

So much has been happening! It's so amazing. Recently, I've finally got the hang of my college courses, so for the moment I feel very content. I've been working hard on my UCLA art portfolio and I'm trying to make friends. However, my younger sister is failing her classes and I honestly don't know what to tell her. Since she is doing poorly in the classes I excelled in, I just wonder --- what can I do to save her from drowning?! I don't want her to fail miserably like I have. I try to help her with her homework, but with one week till the end of their semester, there's so little time to recover the broken pieces! I feel as if I'm suffocating, there's nothing I can do for her! I don't want her to end up in my position. There's just so much I want for her, I pray things will go well if it is His will.

"Like winter daisies, we must try to fight the hopeless storm"